Hawksford
by LokisChampion
Summary: Jack Hawksford is invited by long-time family friends, the Crawley family. Little does he know who he will grow close to. I own nothing except the charater Jack, an OC I created.
1. Chapter 1

Hawksford, Chapter 1

Jack Hawksford sat in his small library reading the newspaper. He wore a casual, deep blue suit, glasses but no shoes graced his feet. His brown curls hung over his forehead in a limp fashion as he ran a few fingers through it. At this time, while his parents were away, he could dress how he liked.

Only new it seemed disgraceful.

The headline shocked him, the Titanic sank, dragging his family along with it, as well as many others. Nothing could have prepared him for this as he was sucked in by the words before him, he felt hollow. He was now one of the only few left in his family. He couldn't live with any of the rest, they didn't like him.

What would he do now?

Flipping the page, he saw a familiar name of a long-time family friend. Crawley. _No_, he thought_, surely not_. But the list of the dead spoke for itself as he found himself weeping. A dull ache set itself in his heard as he put down the shaking paper, removed his glasses and placed them in his lap, his hands holding his face and wept in the privacy of his library, his massive home. He wondered what the servants would think, watch him with pity in their eyes. He knew he wouldn't be able to tolerate that, let alone the nightmares that would plague his mind in these horrible nights to come.

Jack sat in the garden on a warm morning a few days after the sinking occurred. He wore a white button up shirt with a light grey vest and pants, he wore black dress shoes and sipped on a cup of tea. His brown eyes grazed the lonely lake in his lavish yard, small memories paining him as his brown curls moved with the gentle sway of the wind. He shook an unwelcome memory from behind his eyes, taking another sip of tea when someone spoke.

"Sir, are you alright?"

Jack turned to find a maid, concerned eyes trained on him. "I'm fine, thank you."

"Post, sir." She said, handing a small, square envelope to him, along with an opener. Jack set his tea on the table before taking the items. His eyes scanned the outside, addressed to him, before he carefully opened it, setting the opener on the table and reading the letter.

He was silent while he read it. "The Crawley family?" He asked.

"Yes, sir." The maid said politely.

"Requesting that I stay at Downton. As soon as possible." He said, setting the note down on his crossed knees, he watched the soft rippling of the lake, thinking as he exhaled through his nose.

"A telegram came last night as well, sir." She said.

"I see." Jack replied. He stood. "Very well, then. Let us go pack." They exchanged smiles as she brought the tea tray back into the house with them and they parted to prepare for Jack's departure.


	2. Chapter 2

Hawksford, Chapter 2

Jack sat in the horse drawn carriage, looking out the window at the giant castle looming before him, growing as they came closer. Suddenly nervous, he exhaled, fidgeting with his vest, checking all his buttons before closing his eyes, trying to calm his heartbeat.

What would they think of him? A young, 22 year old son who's almost entire family was now deceased. Would they pity him? Would they leave him be? He shook his head as the carriage came to a stop and he felt the fear flow away at the sight of a servant standing at the door of the Abbey.

His hair was black, slicked back. He looked exquisite in his black suit with coattails hanging halfway down his legs, white gloves gracing his hands. He stood straight, head held high, his lips turned into a slight smile as he waited.

The door to the carriage opened and Jack stepped out onto the gravel, feeling the warm air on his face and the sun on his skin. He watched as Lady Cora Crawly walked towards him, arms outstretched. She wore a beige, light and airy dress that suited her figure.

"Jack, so nice to see you." She said, taking him into a hug. It was in that moment that Jack began to shake in her grasp, it felt like a hug his mother would give. He hugged her tighter in that moment, trying desperately to keep the tears away.

"Wonderful to see you." He said as they pulled apart. He had to will himself not to crumble in front of her. "Thank you for letting me stay. I hope it's no trouble."

"No, none at all." She said, taking his hand in hers. "How are you?" She asked in almost a whisper, keeping her eyes intently on his.

"Could be better." He said honestly and she nodded, turning towards the servant, who walked towards them.

"Thomas will be your servant during your stay here. Please help yourself to anything; books, the stables, garden. What's ours is yours."

"Thank you, my Lady. I don't know how I will ever repay you." Jack said before turning his attention to Thomas, who gave him a subtly sexy smile.

"Your room is this way, my Lord." Thomas said and Jack nodded, walking close behind. The massive home he stepped into was shocking. Jack struggled to take things in because all he saw behind his nervous eyes was his parents walking through the halls. His mother in beautiful dresses, his father in suits he longed to wear and the pair together made him shake even more.

"Your room, sir. Is there anything I can get you?" Thomas opened the door before stepping aside in the hallway, allowing Jack to enter. A suite welcomed him, along with blue wallpaper. The bed was a black comforter with white sheets and pillows, a fireplace on the opposite wall with a couch and a table. Paintings graced the walls as Jack exhaled, unbuttoning his jacket. When Jack turned, Thomas was behind him, hand held open, waiting. Jack handed him his blazer before running a hand through his own brown curls.

"No, I don't think I need anything at the moment." Jack managed to speak. He couldn't deny how his heart seemed to race at the sight of Thomas.

"If you need anything, ring the bell. Have a good day, sir." Thomas said before turning to leave.

"Thomas." Jack said as the footman froze at the door, hand on the knob. "Thank you."

Thomas only nodded before slipping from the room.


	3. Chapter 3

Hawksford, Chapter 3

After a few hours of tossing and turning, Jack got out of bed and made a fire. Sitting on the couch, robe tied loosely around his waist, his eyes closed at the ghosts of his parents flitting behind his eyelids. Some were happy memories; his mother's laughter, his cousin's games on the neighbors kids, his father's kindness towards complete strangers.

"Sir?"

Jack's eyes opened and he turned towards the door. Thomas was peering in, a look of something on his face that Jack couldn't place. "Are you alright?"

Jack swallowed as his heartbeat escalated again. "I'm fine, Thomas. Thank you for checking."

"Thomas nodded and turned to leave. Just as the door would close, Jack spoke. "Wait."

Thomas came into the room, closing the door behind him and walking towards the couch.

"Would you stay?" Jack muttered, barely a whisper.

Thomas nodded before sitting on the couch. "Yes, sir. For as long as you need me."

Jack nodded before leaning forward, hands holding his chin, watching the dancing fire. It reminded him of his mother in her favorite ball dress as she swayed in front of him one night before they departed. She looked so happy, so delighted to be wearing such a jewel of a dress. Jack found himself feeling a wet face beneath his fingers as his head fell into his hands. His shoulders shook as he tried to contain himself in front of Thomas, but all that failed when he felt a warm hand tentatively placed on his back. He let go of his tears, drowning in it.


	4. Chapter 4

Jack stood before his mirror in one of his deeper red suits. It was one of his father's that he'd grown into and now that he wore it, he felt like he couldn't fill it properly. He held up a black tie then a white one, unsure of what to use when a knock sounded on his door.

"Come in." Jack called. When he saw Thomas's reflection, he smiled and turned towards the footman, who stood in the doorway.

"Dinner is ready, sir." Thomas said.

"You always arrive at the right time. Tell me, which one is better?" Jack asked, holding up the two ties as Thomas closed the door and walked in close to him.

"I would say the black suits it better, sir."

"Great. Would you? I've never been able to tie it properly." Jack sad as Thomas nodded, stepping closer. Beginning his work around Jack's neck, his hands moving delicately, precise fingers working well as Jack watched his eyes, then closed his own, looking to the floor.

"Sir, might I ask you something?" Thomas asked and Jack kept his eyes closed.

"Thomas, you can speak freely in my presence." Jack said with a smile.

Thomas hesitated, causing Jack to open his eyes and gaze at the footman, who was done with the tie but stayed close. Jack didn't mind, seeing as he had to calm his heart rate when the footman spoke. "It's just, you seem to be miserable lately."

"Ah." Jack said before smiling to himself before his eyes drifted to the table behind Thomas, settling on the tea cup reminding him of his mother's set at home. The one she cherished. He then saw an image of her sitting in her favorite pink gown, slim but flowing at her feet, a delicate white bow in the center of her back with sleeves stopping at her elbows. She wore her brown hair in a mess of curls pulled into a low ponytail and her smile was warm, welcome. "It seems misery is the best company." Jack said, his voice dying down as he slowly descended into a small pool of sadness, longing.

He was jolted out of it when Thomas placed his hand on the young duke's shoulder. Their eyes met and Thomas smiled.

"I'm sure time will heal all wounds, sir. Now, shall we set off for dinner?" He asked, walking away when Jack gave him a nod and leading him out of the room.


	5. Chapter 5

After a terribly uneventful dinner service, except for the fact that some of Thomas's witty remarks to him whispered in his ear gave him a small smile and an occasional chuckle, Jack was now sleepless once again. Only one exception, it was nearly dawn, he could see the sun peeking out over the horizon.

Sighing, he changed into some riding clothes and left a hasty note for Thomas on the table beside the door and walked out.

In no time, he was mounted on a black horse and spurring it on down a path in the woods. He felt the fresh air in his lungs and flying through his body a great relaxation to his routine. Oh, how he loved the feeling of the connection with a magnificent beast such as a trustworthy horse. He galloped through the thick trees, eager to feel the wind singing past his ears and in his face. He no longer felt tired, but looking to his left, he saw something.

Gently stopping his horse, it neighed in protest as he stopped, connecting with the gentle sway as he stood in place, occasionally side-stepping as the horse took in big breaths, Jack took in his own as he looked at what had stopped him.

He was staring at his younger brother, Jaimie, on this very mount, staring back at him with a playful smile on his face. Jack stared, unable to move as his heartbeat pounded in his ears, leather clad hands tightening on the reins. His brother was wearing a little oversized riding gear as his helmet flapped over his head like an oversized hat. Jaimie spurred the horse on and rode out of view, away from Jack.

"Jaimie." Jack whispered as he spurred his horse on, into a canter, searching the trees for his brother. In the midst of searching, a flash of his brother's name in the newspaper the day of the accident flew through his mind just as he saw Jaimie's head. He made the horse run towards him as his breathing quickened. "Jaimie!" He hollered, hearing his brother's laughter all around him, echoing in his ears as his horse ran faster, effortlessly weaving through the trees.

He came to a clearing where he saw nothing, but heard his brother scream. He made his horse do a big circle as he searched frantically for any sign of Jaimie when he saw them. Jaimie with crutches, leaning against mother and father behind him. They all looked at Jack with a sad smile as Jaimie attempted to walk forward. Jack dismounted and walked towards them, holding his hand out when he blinked, and they were gone.

Jack felt himself trembling as his hand was shaking. He swallowed and felt the tears stinging his eyes. He fell to his knees, looking at the spot where Jaimie would be standing. "Jaimie.." Jack whispered, feeling tears trickling down his cheeks. "My dear Jaimie…" He said as his voice cracked and he leaned down over his knees.

He stretched back up, staring at the sky through the canopy as he cried, taking in a deep breath, he screamed. "I'm sorry Jaimie!" He sobbed, crying violently as his horse walked up behind him. "Come back to me! Please come back!" He cried, screaming as his voice violently cracked and he leaned forward again, sobbing and crying like he never had before. He felt his horse nudge his back with his nose. Turning, he took the horse in his arms, its thick neck warm where he felt deathly cold as he shivered.

He needed to cry, so he would for as long as he needed. He couldn't let anyone see him like this. But he cried harder as he saw an image of Thomas linger in his mind, how he wanted to be consoled by the footman. His heart ached for the familiar touch, but he couldn't show Thomas how weak, how broken he truly was.


	6. Chapter 6

Jack had stayed away from Thomas, or at least as much as was possible, as he was in the library in the middle of the night, only one candle flickering as he was breathing hard, trying to banish the sights of his parents, his brother, his entire family that was haunting him.

He was rocking back and forth in his robe, truly disheveled as his eyes filled with fear, tearing across the shadows of the dark library. He could swear he saw them, but he would look again and they would be gone.

_Jack! _

Jack turned his head quickly to the right to see Jaimie standing with a candle, waving at him as he laughed.

_Jack! _

"Jaimie…" Jack whispered, tightening his arms around his folded legs touching his chest. He shook his head violently "No, it's not you…"

_Son, want to go to town? _

Looking straight ahead, he saw his father standing in his good suit, hair slicked back with a small smile on his face, holding his cane in his left hand. His watch was hanging out from his small pocket in his vest, ticking softly.

"No, no…" Jack said, leaning his forehead to his knees.

_Honey, help me pick a dress for your father's dinner tomorrow. _

He looked up to see his mother in a pink dress, one of his personal favorites. It had a sweetheart neckline with a magenta ribbon around her waist, flowing around her feet in a delicate way as she spun for him. Her hair was down around her shoulders, brown curls flowing through the wind as she smiled at him, her laughter echoing in his ears.

"No, please…"

_Jack!_

_ Jack. _

_ Jack. _

_ Jack! _

"Jack?"

Jack jumped up to see Thomas standing in front of him. Putting his feet on the ground, he gasped as he felt again new tears down his cheeks. Jack was unaware of how undone his robe was, but he didn't care even if he knew.

"Oh, Thomas!" Jack said, wrapping his arms around the footman's waist, his head on his stomach as he pulled Thomas into a tight, trembling hug.

Thomas exhaled softly, standing straight as he felt Jack trembling, his breathing erratic and harsh. "I'm here, sir." He said, putting a hand in Jack's brown, incredibly soft curls as Jack sniffed, sobbing softly.

"Make it stop, please, Thomas." Jack said, lifting his head so his chin was resting on the footman's stomach as he met his eyes. "I keep seeing their faces…" He whispered. "So many faces…"

Thomas got Jack to loosen his arms around his waist as he sunk down to his knees in front of Jack. When they were eye level, he wiped some tears from his cheeks. Jack clutched his fists on Thomas's vest at his shoulders, his lips trembling with his breathing.

Thomas swallowed. "Sir, I can try and subside it for only a few seconds. If you would permit me." Jack nodded quickly as he swallowed, sniffing. Thomas nodded and leaned in, kissing Jack's lips softly.

The kiss was unlike anything Jack had ever felt, something pleasurable and electric. Jack never wanted it to end as he held tighter to Thomas, his anchor in this hard time. Thomas thought it was an amazing kiss, one he wanted to try again. He did also think he shouldn't linger too long, and when he broke, they stayed incredibly close as they breathed on each-others lips.

Thomas stood, backing away. "Shall I take you back to your room?" He asked.

Jack hesitated, watching Thomas with wet eyes. He was frightened at himself for enjoying the kiss yet he wanted more. But he knew he could never ask Thomas for that.

"Yes, I suppose." Jack said as Thomas led him back out of the library and through the halls of the mansion, all the while realizing that the faces had stopped.

If only for the moment.


End file.
